Acceptance as Behavior
A deliberate, embodied response to reality
If our feelings represent embodied real-time information about reality, perhaps it would make sense to regard feelings as calls to action. We might even choose to use our bodies to act upon reality in some considered way in response.
The Sitting/Making Room exercise is an example of a way to respond to an unpleasant thought or feeling without trying to make it go away (i.e., without struggling). But we can also respond by putting our bodies directly into motion.
This might particularly be a good strategy if our subsequent behavioral response made reality better in some way, however great or small, and however we might define that.
If, for example, you notice you’re feeling anxious, and you decide to wash the dishes, the act of washing the dishes may or may not affect your anxiety (I would guess not, but who knows?).
But either way, the dishes get washed.
It would be undesirable to create a loop where every time you experience an unpleasant thought or feeling, you compulsively wash dishes or go to the gym or write in your journal or whatever.
But, insofar as it’s possible to avoid such unproductive control strategies, any behavioral response that results in some sort of positive change in your environment seems like a good alternative to just reflexively trying (and likely failing) to quash a feeling.
Act not, in other words, to change what is within you. ACT instead, to change what is without. And while washing the dishes might not seem like much of an accomplishment, if you’re in crisis, rediscovering the capacity to move your body and effect positive change in the physical world is, I believe, a critical first step toward healing.
So what are a few “accepting” behaviors, in this somewhat expansive definition?
A possible list might include:
taking a walk
calling a friend
riding your bicycle
dancing
journaling
playing music
drawing something
cooking something
cleaning something
fixing something
building something
Anything at all, really, which results in something positive or meaningful happening in your world. So make your own list. And when you notice an unwanted feeling, instead of struggling to make it go away, try responding with a deliberate action instead.
